When I first started bouldering at my local gym back in DEC 2022, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the experience or where climbing might take me. Once or twice a week I would strap on my rock shoes and spend an hour arm-hauling and panic-scrambling myself up the VB’s and V0’s. Every now and then I would top out a V1 that played to my strengths.

The vertical exposure was a new sensation but I slowly started getting used to it. Taking falls to the pad, taking on overhanging boulders, studying the techniques of belayed climbing.

By the time the summer of 2023 came around I was feeling confident in my basic skills and began thinking about taking things outside. Based on my initial experiences at the gym, I suspected that my interest would be mostly aligned with longer more moderate route climbing. My progress up the indoor bouldering grades was nothing special but I was totally fascinated with learning more about rope systems, trad gear, and aid climbing.

While I had made some acquaintances at the gym, I didn’t have a go-to partner and the psych was slowly burning a hole in my brain. I took a hike out to Den Rock Park and liked what I saw, quick access from the road and moderate single pitch routes with pairs of beefy glue-in bolts atop each. That evening I bought a 30 m x 10 mm static rope and the hardware for a top-rope soloing (TRS) setup.

Desperado Face, 5.6 – Den Rock Park, Lawrence, MA

Understand that TRS is very much a risk-aware activity and every system is unique, you must assess the specific risks posed by every setup. It is not the same as top roping with a partner. I’m not a professional and I will not discuss the technical details here. The most comprehensive references I’ve seen on the matter being Andy Kirkpatrick’s book “On the Line” and the Petzl “Self Belay” white paper.

Perversion Corner 5.4 – Den Rock Park, Lawrence, MA

Through the Summer weekends 0f 2023 and 2024, I conservatively leaned into TRS at Den Rock. Practicing escape from the system, ascent and rappel, building anchors on the bolts, and climbing the routes. My ultimate goal started to crystalize, I wanted to become a competent trad climber.

By fall of 2024 It felt like I was topping out most of the routes I set up on. I knew that in order to progress I needed to seek out bigger, harder, routes and find a regular partner to climb with. At the gym I would finish routes up to 5.8 and work 5.9/5.10- on the autobelay.

I had the opportunity to make a trip to the Shawangunks where I would take a day class on trad placements then met up with D to potentially do some climbing. To ensure a full value experience, I decided to camp at the plush AAC Gunks campground and also brought my trail running stuff.

Base Camp, Shawangunks – New Paltz, NY

After setting up the tent I took a short run up “The Stairmaster” and onto the carriage road. On the way back I noticed a sign for The Ceiling and went up to check it out. This was the biggest route I had seen in person at the time and it made quite an impression. I soloed up as far as I dared before down climbing and running on. This was a different kind of environment.

The Ceiling 5.6+, The Trapps , Shawangunks – New Paltz, NY

Thanks to the nice tent site I got excellent sleep and geared up for my class the next morning. The class was great, just a small group of students and a professional guide who took extra time to work with each of us. We set a top rope on an out of the way climb and took turns placing gear on it as a mock-lead.

I took my mock-leads pretty seriously and was feeling a bit worked by the end of the day. The unique challenge of placing gear while climbing felt super difficult but also incredibly fun. It felt good to sit on a gear anchor I built with relative confidence.

The next morning I headed into town and got a coffee with D as we made plans for a day in The Trapps. D is a trad leader experienced with climbs in the area, so he would take the lead and I would follow. We decided to try the uber classic Betty and see how we felt.

Following up to the top of Betty (2p, 5.3), The Trapps , Shawangunks – New Paltz, NY

I have to admit that some of the moves on Betty felt pretty physical! Especially the chimney that starts P2. Beyond the burning arms, beyond fear, beyond self doubt, here we were, multi-pitch rock climbing, at risk but maintaining control, having an amazing day and just enjoying the movement.

Rappelling Betty (2p, 5.3), The Trapps , Shawangunks – New Paltz, NY

I felt like I had done well following on Betty but had a bit of a scare almost dropping my ATC while rigging the first rappel! Even in that event, I would have options to get down, but it definitely made me think. We got down safe by the early afternoon and still had plenty of gas in the collective tank.

D suggested we move on to Rhododendron (5.6), a single pitch continuous crack he was interested in leading. I was a bit hesitant taking on a stiffer climb based on how Betty felt, but as I got eyes on the crack I started to really feel good about following it. D made quick work of the lead and started bringing me up as I cleaned the gear. It felt quite challenging but I made a couple good jams in the crack and topped it out.

D lowered me and I untied, allowing him to rappel. As soon as I was out of the immediate risk of climbing, euphoria hit me hard. I looked up at the route and truly could not believe I had climbed it. It was a feeling like nothing else. D came down and we proceeded to make top rope laps until we had our fill.

When I made it home and unpacked (physically) I couldn’t help but think about the effect the Gunks had on me. There was more work to do, in fact, there always would be. I came away with a renewed confidence and enthusiasm for climbing and building my skills. I was determined to find a partner and get on the rock more consistently.

On the partner board at the gym, I saw a posting from another trans woman looking for a partner and decided to reach out. We made arrangements to meet up at the gym and do some top roping. After a couple gym sessions it was clear that C and I were clicking. We were eager to go top roping outside together and she suggested that we should check out Crow Hill, one of the premier crags in the area. This crag was on my tick list as well so I was definitely excited.

Top rope on Ladybug (5.8), Practice Face , Crow Hill – Leominster, MA

Our first visit to Crow Hill was excellent and we managed to set our top rope on a few different routes. We were both climbing well and feeling great, gradually building trust and learning how to best support each other.

Top rope on Layback (5.6), End Crags , Crow Hill – Leominster, MA

In the end we would get out for several great crag days this fall. We stuck to top roping, expect for C pulling off a solid trad lead of the Redemption Crack.

Crux of Redemption Crack (5.7), Redemption Crag – Leominster, MA

C Chalking up on Karkus (5.7), Redemption Crag – Leominster, MA